“No-holds-barred” would be a good way to describe Vinesh Nagrani, or Vinny Sharp, the Singaporean comedian, YouTuber, and concerned citizen with a story to tell. Because once you get over his outlandish beard and sometimes unintelligible ramblings, what you find is a frank and intellectual man who wants to create, to give.

This edition of Eye Candy, Vinny talks about himself in a way only he can. How so, exactly? You’ll have to read on to find out.

Hi Vinny! First things first, how do you maintain that gorgeous beard?

More than the viscosity of the oil, and the gravitational pull of this planet, the hair on your or my face tends to listen precariously and obediently to the wisdom you choose to yield from your words and decisions.

Apply yourself maximally with both sides of your brain. The beard will take care of itself. Like the butterfly effect no? Or some shit like that.

But you know. I don’t think the key question is in how I maintain ‘that gorgeous beard’, but rather how I’ve maintained the pretence of acceptance with the systems we’re obliged to conform to. The fanciest chi chi von tai tai out of Bishopsgate doesn’t come close to the high maintenance I’ve observed within this department in my life.

I’m guessing that’s the part of your body you’re most proud of?

Well, if we need to keep the answers PG13. Then yes, it’s the part I’m most proud of. Joking joking oni. No la. I’m not proud of any body part. I mean, this body isn’t even mine. I didn’t make it. I’ll tell you what I did make from scratch though. An absolute fool of myself when I accidentally sent lingerie to an ex-girlfriend’s parents’ address. Now that, I deserve absolute and full credit for.

And you know. Surprisingly. I’m weirdly kinda proud of it.

Tell us about your journey into comedy.

I never had a journey into comedy. Life has never been void of comedy. The comedy has been the backbone of every journey. And always will reside within me. I live day to day, evolving habits, adopting ideologies and connecting dots. It’s been in my blood. I had no say or intent.

What’s the most negative response that you’ve gotten for your videos?

It’s hard to deem what negative is. At least, within the context we’re addressing. I think, out of all the dialogue I’ve shared with humans my whole life, at least 83% of the exchange has proven to be an utter waste of time. So, most of the time, majority of the words I receive, be it complimentary or critical, tend to virtually fall on deaf ears.

I’ve never created to please or command compliments or validation from an audience. Well, maybe when I was younger. But certainly not since I started producing videos. I can’t really deem any response as negative. Whatever response I receive can be collected, stored and upon cross reference, utilised to produce more informed material. That is, if I’m even in the mood to give a shit.

Behind all that unabashed hilarity and sarcasm, and you know, that ski mask, who is Vinny Sharp?

Perhaps you mean, who is Vinesh Nagrani. Vinny Sharp is more an ideology than an individual. It’s an ideology available for adoption. The only price tag attached is a sincere attempt to shed ego.

But who am I? I never fancied questions like this. Behind yada yada yada. Who is the real Vankateshwaran Bin GomiswamiKurmukalagiya.

It doesn’t matter. I shouldn’t have to articulate these things in words. Let’s be. Infer. And enjoy each other’s presence and energy. The most you can give is yourself. Give through all forms. And never say how or why. It’s all we have in this life.

What can we expect from your next project?

Analysis on the Singapore education system. I’ve spent a heavy deal of time researching so my presentation is as informed as possible. It’s a topic very dear to me. I don’t just want to do this right. It’s moulded us all, whether for better or worse. I need to do this right. Its titanic relevance to all citizens, (of Singapore and the world) and implications on our progress as generations to come, implores me to leave no crevices uninspected. You feel me?

How has your material evolved over the years? What resonates with you? What drives you to create?

What drives me to creates has been consistent. That is to live another day eager to discover and manifest ways in which I can continue to surprise myself. The rest is white noise and black magic. My material has gotten sharper. How can it not? The more knowledge you consume, the more refined the output.

What resonates with me? A sexually attractive woman who knows how to keep me in suspense. Depriving me of critical knowledge is as fulfilling as it gets.

Anything you’d like to say about the current political landscape in Singapore?

No. But if M Ravi got back in the scene. I’d have passages la macha.

Where are your frequent haunts here?

I don’t get out much. I reside most of the time within the parameters of my imagination, let alone my room. I love Food Republic though. It’s my favourite public space, not just in Singapore but of the entire cosmos. I’d pick Food Republic over companionship. This shouldn’t worry you. Because it doesn’t worry me.

Your favourite country or city in the world, and why?

My utopian city or country is a developed one, but simply void of cellphones. Wherever you are. I’m all yours.

Can’t get enough of Vinny Sharp? Follow his work on his Facebook page.